So last night I was calmly watching TV when out of the corner of my eye I saw Konan staring at a black critter making its way up the staircase wall. I thought “Oh, the black lizard from the front patio must have ventured indoors!” Then, I noticed it had somehow gotten way up on the bannister right by my head, and it was a GIANT COCKROACH.
I gave a girly scream and rushed out of my recliner, twisting my toe on the way. I took shelter on the chair across the room, half watching TV and half keeping my eye on the roach. After a good 20 minutes of wiggling his antennae, I suddenly realized he wasn’t on the bannister anymore. I ran to the middle of the living room and, letting out a stream of profanities, looked around the room to find him.
He was right behind my chair and walking across the ceiling, in true Spiderman fashion. This is when I took shelter in the hallway.
He then disappeared again, and it took me quite awhile to find him from my post cowering in the hall. Turns out… he had mastered the art of camoflage.
At this point I retreated to the kitchen, only peeking out from time to time to check the cockroach’s position and make sure he wasn’t plotting my demise. I considered using the can of Raid, but any mexpat knows that cockroaches are only angered by bug spray.
I waited a full hour for Jorge to come home. He asked me, “Where’s the roach killer Raid?”
“The cleaning lady used up the last of it last week. All we have is the garden Raid,” I replied.
“Are you kidding? He’s going to laugh in my face when he sees that! Give my your flip flop.”
Armed with the garden spray in his right hand and my flip flop in his left, Jorge approached the curtain and sprayed the roach to get it out of his hiding spot. With one swift motion of his left arm, the flying roach was defeated with a fatal chancletazo.
Something tells me he still lives, somewhere in the depths of our garbage bin.
Who kills the bugs in your house?