Jorge vs. The Flying Cockroach

So last night I was calmly watching TV when out of the corner of my eye I saw Konan staring at a black critter making its way up the staircase wall. I thought “Oh, the black lizard from the front patio must have ventured indoors!” Then, I noticed it had somehow gotten way up on the bannister right by my head, and it was a GIANT COCKROACH.

I gave a girly scream and rushed out of my recliner, twisting my toe on the way. I took shelter on the chair across the room, half watching TV and half keeping my eye on the roach. After a good 20 minutes of wiggling his antennae, I suddenly realized he wasn’t on the bannister anymore. I ran to the middle of the living room and, letting out a stream of profanities, looked around the room to find him.

He was right behind my chair and walking across the ceiling, in true Spiderman fashion. This is when I took shelter in the hallway.

He then disappeared again, and it took me quite awhile to find him from my post cowering in the hall. Turns out… he had mastered the art of camoflage.

At this point I retreated to the kitchen, only peeking out from time to time to check the cockroach’s position and make sure he wasn’t plotting my demise. I considered using the can of Raid, but any mexpat knows that cockroaches are only angered by bug spray.

I waited a full hour for Jorge to come home. He asked me, “Where’s the roach killer Raid?”

“The cleaning lady used up the last of it last week. All we have is the garden Raid,” I replied.

“Are you kidding? He’s going to laugh in my face when he sees that! Give my your flip flop.”

Armed with the garden spray in his right hand and my flip flop in his left, Jorge approached the curtain and sprayed the roach to get it out of his hiding spot. With one swift motion of his left arm, the flying roach was defeated with a fatal chancletazo.

Something tells me he still lives, somewhere in the depths of our garbage bin.

Who kills the bugs in your house?

Cockroaches, Slugs and Poo… Oh My!

So the last week and a half has been interesting at my house. We had a very dry season for several months without a single drop of rain. Two Saturdays ago, however, that all changed. Torrential rains began all of a sudden. We had two days of rain, followed by a week of sunshine, followed by spurts of rain the last 2 or 3 days.

Rainy season at our house was ridiculous last year. To explain, we leave our back door open during the day when we’re not home so the dogs can go outside to do their business. (We have a back gated door as well, which remains closed. The dogs can slip out to the backyard, but no one can get in.) Anyway, when the ground is wet, my snobby princess poodles don’t want to get their precious little paws wet… which means pee and poo on my living room floor when I come home. (We hadn’t had a single incident in MONTHS, and now we’re back to square one.)

This year, however, has been far worse than last year’s rainy season at my house.

One on particular occasion last week, Suki got diarrhea and decided to leave evidence all over the living room and stairs. She also thought it would be productive to smear it around. That was a fun afternoon.

We also get some large cockroaches here in Cancun, which everyone’s kinda used to. We kill them on-site with chankletazos (meaning “hard blows with a flip-flop”… I love the Mexican language). A few days ago, I put the dog’s food bowl on the counter and poured some dog chow. I went to the fridge for yoghurt, and when I turned back around there was a huge cockroach in the dog bowl. Jorge and I looked on in horror as the cockroach grabbed a large piece of kibble, carried it out of the bowl and on to the counter, and began to eat it. A cockroach eating dog food on my counter. I don’t think I can even begin to describe how gross that is.

We also seem to have a slug infestation. I didn’t even know Cancun had slugs, much less our backyard. Since we’ve been leaving the back door open, on several occasions we’ve found a slug in the kitchen near the back door. Last night we went to the movies and got home to find about 30 – 40 slugs all over the walls and floors of our kitchen, hallway, living room, downstairs bathroom and stairs. I wish I’d taken pictures, but my memory card is broken. 🙁 But they look like this:

So anyway, after a nice movie date, Jorge and I finished off our romantic evening by cleaning puddles of dog pee (me) and scraping slugs off the walls with a floor squeegee (Jorge). Then we watched an episode of Law and Order, because there’s no way I was going to sleep after that horror of an evening.

I’m happy to say that soon we will be fixing up the backyard with grass, shade and a doghouse so that the dogs can stay outside while we’re not home. That way we can finally actually USE our living room and keep the back door closed so the slugs and cockroaches don’t get in. *shudder*

If I don’t invite any of you over to my house until 2012… you’ll know why. On the bright side, our trees and plants look lovely.